The Price of Over-Giving: How I Lost (And Found) Myself Trying to Help Everyone
No one tells you that giving too much, without boundaries, doesn’t make you a better leader.
For years, I proudly wore a badge:
"Give to Grow."
It wasn’t just a phrase, it was my identity.
It was the way I built my business, my relationships, and my life.
It was even written on my About Me page.
"Filip is someone who is ALWAYS putting others first."
"His philosophy in business and life is ‘Give to Grow.’"
"If you’ve interacted with him, you know he truly embodies this philosophy."
And I did.
I gave value.
I helped clients.
I supported the people around me.
But what I didn’t realize was - I was doing it wrong.
Because no one tells you that giving too much, without limits, without boundaries, doesn’t make you a better leader.
It makes you resentful, exhausted, and trapped in a cycle where you disappear in the process.
And that’s exactly what happened to me.
The moment it broke me (and saved me)
There was a moment last year (late August) when I looked at my life and realized:
"I built a business that drains me.
I’m in wrong partnerships.
I’m giving so much I have nothing left.
I’m holding things that were never mine to hold.
And nobody is asking me to do that except me."
And it hit even harder because not even six months earlier, I almost died.
In February, I was rushed into emergency surgery, an urgent gallbladder removal that came just hours before sepsis could have taken me out. A few more hours, and I wouldn’t be here.
(still gives me the chills)
Lying in that hospital bed, staring at the ceiling, I had THE very common cliche “come to Jesus” moment.
I promised myself I’d do things differently.
I swore I’d stop living half-aligned, half-trapped, half-fulfilled.
But months later? I was right back in the same patterns.
I had survived - but I wasn’t truly living.
And I really can’t tell why exactly, but one hot August evening when I was alone in apartment - it all came crashing down on me.
And that was the moment I knew:
It’s not love if it costs you yourself.
It’s not a good business if it burns you to the ground.
It’s not real guidance if it crosses your own boundaries just to “help” someone.
It took me a few months of deep, day-to-day inner work, but I did it.
(Still in progress, but waaaaay better.)
One of the biggest things that helped?
📖 Reading and following The Presence Process by Michael Brown.
That 10-week process wasn’t just theory, it forced me to sit with the discomfort, to stop numbing, to stop avoiding, and to actually process what was underneath all of it.
Among few other things, it helped me see that over-giving wasn’t just a habit, but a deep pattern I was finally ready to break.
The truth about boundaries
You can care deeply, without crossing your own limits.
You can be generous, without giving away your soul.
You can guide others, without carrying their entire journey on your back.
Because guiding isn’t about saving people.
It’s about walking beside them - and trusting them enough to do the work themselves.
When we cross our own boundaries, we think we’re making life easier for others.
But what we’re really doing is:
Teaching them that our needs don’t matter.
Teaching ourselves that we don’t matter.
And robbing them of the chance to grow strong on their own.
And now that I think about it, how selfish was I?
How selfish to take away someone’s chance to struggle, grow, and rise on their own… just so I could feel needed.
Why most entrepreneurs struggle with boundaries
One of the most draining things I see for entrepreneurs and coaches I work with and what I struggled with for years is: not having strong boundaries in business.
Because we fall into the trap of believing:
"My worth is tied to how much I sacrifice."
And yes, it’s our duty to care about our clients and help them win.
But we are so much more than just what we do for others.
The paradox? When you start setting boundaries, clients respect you more, not less.
Because people respect clarity, strength, and consistency.
That’s why one of the first things I do with my mentorship clients is making sure they have their Commitment Principles in place - for themselves, their clients, and their teams.
Boundaries don’t push people away.
They create the space where real work happens.
I was talking to a client recently who had the exact same struggle.
He told me:
"I was taking my client’s success personally, so I kept going above and beyond what we agreed to. If they were struggling, or didn’t check in as planned, I jumped the gun and offered bonus 1:1 calls - thinking that would fix it."
But that was never the solution.
Instead of helping, it made him, and his clients, feel worse.
Instead of empowering them, it created dependence instead of growth.
Instead of running a business, he was emotionally carrying every client.
The real lesson?
Yes, you need to be there.
Yes, you need to create a strong support system.
But you also need to know where your responsibility ends, and theirs begins.
Luckily, he stopped. And his biggest win?
"Peace of mind."
And I’d say that was worth a few uncomfortable conversations, with himself and with his clients.
Final thought: this isn’t just about business (it’s about life)
Because this isn’t just about business.
It’s about how we live.
We think if we don’t carry them, they’ll fall.
But sometimes, the most loving thing you can do is step back and let people rise on their own.
That’s real trust.
That’s real love.
And it’s the same in life.
In family.
In relationships.
In business.
Because even kings aren’t meant to carry it all.
I’m Filip. I help entrepreneurs build client-first empires that grow because their clients win, without, over-giving, or carrying the weight for them.
And I’m still learning to keep my own boundaries sacred.
If this hit home and you know it’s time to put real Commitment Principles in place for yourself, your clients, and your team - let’s make it happen.
Send me a message, and let’s chat.